Should your coach also be your manager?
I’m trying to grow my direct reports to be great outside of our company. That’s being a good coach (or mentor), but that’s not being a very good manager.
First off, this question tells me everything I need to know about you as a manager: you’re already doing both jobs well. The idea that being a good coach means you’re a bad manager just shows how bizarre modern workplaces are today.
Your instinct to grow people for success outside of the company isn’t betraying your role as a manager. In this economy, it IS good management. When no role lasts forever and industries are constantly shifting, preparing your team for an uncertain future is the most responsible and caring thing you can do.
But I get why you feel this conflict. To start, companies, no matter the size, operate like small governments with their own politics, their own way of doing things that become so entrenched that half of your job becomes learning how to navigate bureaucracy rather than actually doing your craft. In one company, it can take months to get a design approved, polishing a deck to perfection, whereas in another, all it can take is a video walkthrough sent in Slack message. Both are communicating visually to get a decision done in vastly different ways.
On top of that, the manager role has evolved dramatically. What used to be straightforward supervision has expanded into coaching, mentoring, strategic planning, and performance evaluation all rolled into one. And the expectation changes depending on the company you’re in and who you’re talking to. A friend recently shared an Instagram post with me; you know those ones with data, graphs and terrible referencing. In a survey of 1,000 US managers1, 68% said that managing Gen Z staff feels ‘like raising children rather than providing professional direction,’ which included ‘having to check in on staff once a day or more.’ Huh? I clicked on the comments only to find I was in agreement with them: ‘Isn’t this what a manager is supposed to do?’ Any creative manager worth their salt should be understanding the work and helping people through it. What else are you doing otherwise?
We’ve lost sight of what good management actually looks like, which makes the dilemma more confusing. Do you teach your direct reports how to move and shake within your specific company, or do you focus on building skills that’ll serve them anywhere? It’s like choosing to teach a secret handshake versus teaching them how to be genuinely interesting at any party.
The problem is this is not an either/or choice, though sometimes it feels like it. The best managers I know do both, but they’re transparent about it. Tell your team exactly what you’re doing. It builds trust and understanding. Nothing is more maddening to hear a manager say ‘This is totally normal’ when you, in fact know, it is not totally normal. Say something like: “Part of my job is helping you succeed here—that means understanding how decisions really get made and who has influence. But my bigger job is making sure you’re building skills that make you valuable anywhere.”
This transparency matters even more because nowadays, your team is stuck with you whether they like it or not. You don’t get much choice who your manager is. The traditional apprentice ship of learning directly from a master craftsperson has largely shifted to learning on the job or teaching yourself on the side. Companies are spending billions2 globally on corporate training, but often this comes with the feeling of checking a box rather than serving immediate needs and long-term growth.
This is probably why Gen Z have more side hustles than other generations—multiple studies show they’re 2-3 times more likely to have them compared to older workers. They know they need to grow, they know they need more money, and if they’re not getting it from their day job, why not bet on themselves?
The good news is you’re already asking the right questions, which means you’re ready to do something about it.
Tangible things you can do tomorrow, next week or next month:
Have the transparency conversation. In your 1:1 or when it makes sense, you can tell each person: “I’m going to help you succeed here AND build skills for wherever you go next. Sometimes these conflict, and I’ll always choose your growth.”
Map their goals in both directions. Between your own observations and conversations with direct reports, try to answer the questions: “What do you want to learn that will make you better at this job?” and “What do you want to build that will serve your career long-term?”
Be honest about trade-offs. When company priorities conflict with their development, name it: “The company wants X, but I think you’d learn more from Y. Here’s how we can do both” or “Let’s prioritise your growth this time.”
Set a semi-regular growth check-in. Don’t just talk about their current projects, you should be doing that anyways. Ask: “What did you learn this month that you could take anywhere?” and “What company-specific knowledge helped you this month?”
Document their wins in both categories. When it’s performance review time, you’ll have examples of how they grew within your system AND built transferable skills.
Every situation is different, so see how you can use or modify these suggestions.
Until next time,
✌️CJ
Do you have a question and don’t mind it appearing here? Submit it here
This should already be a red flag. I’m not sure the United States is the pinnacle of great work culture.
$361.5 billion according to this paywalled report
Very interesting topic CJ. I agree managers/coaches need to try straddle both - finding that balance is key.
Imagine a world where everyone had a manager who does this? Thanks for sharing these insights, many managers are given alot of responsibility with not much coaching - so important now more than ever